Friday, October 26, 2007

Cola Cans of Coland

Disaster struck when the Cola Cans of Coland took over Fridgeville, a booming megalopolis with many areas such as Door City, Chillville, and Sauce Town.

It all started 2 or 3 miles away at a grocery store when a pack of 36 soda cans manufactured in a place called Coland were bought from the huge colony dubbed “Grocermania.” They were then transported by automobile to an apartment complex in which Fridgeville was located. Next, they were carried up the stairs to a second-floor apartment. That’s when the bad news started.

Later that day, the soda cans started raiding Fridgeville with no mercy. They would be hiding in any spot you’d imagine: the door, the freezer, the compartment, and the shelves.

Because the residents weren’t warned that an army would be intruding their rightful land, they started suffering against these “aliens.” Death threats, invasion of private property, and even massacres such as the Sauce Massacre of October 2007 all put them into either poverty or prison.

There were many famous events that happened during this quarter-year era. The first was the Milk Rebellion.
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FRIDGEVILLE GAZETTE…….…..October 23, 2007.…..…....MILK REBELLION
Two gallon jugs of milk were unhappy about these red and black cans spying on private conversations that they actually fought against the main cluster of CC soldiers with the assistance of clubs/gangs such as the Three-Cheese Club, the Marinara Mafia and the Lone Wines. They were literally crushed and the milk jugs were escorted out of the area.
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The next event was the hunt for C.O. Lacan, one of the best agents of the CC force.
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FRIDGEVILLE GAZETTE….October 24, 2007.….THE HUNT FOR C.O. LACAN
Over 1,000 police forces including the Food Bureau of Investigation, the Cooked and Uncooked Criminal Correction Force and the Donut Detective Agency participated in the hunt. They searched everywhere for the agent but found no trace of Lacan because other agents smuggled the insurgent out of the megalopolis only to be crushed by the two milk jugs from the previous Milk Rebellion as a form of revenge. In other words, the search failed but succeeded.
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A third event led to the tragic massacre of many sauces fighting for justice.
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FRIDGEVILLE GAZETTE……….October 26, 2007.……….SAUCE MASSACRE
Many sauces including ranch dressing, marinara sauce, B-B-Q sauce, and ketchup all participated in the violent event. There were 29 laid to rest and 47 injured on the sauces compared to 3 deceased and 8 injured on the CC’s. Kit Chup, a survivor of the fight and an expert at aiming for the Allies, said, “It was a hardship for both sides. There was not only a lack of supplies but a lack of hope.”

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